Barsexuality is the new black.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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