woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
