i barfeds in our rink
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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