I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
