So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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