I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
