Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
