she was so not down for the gang bang
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
