That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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