omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
