I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
