you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My dad is sitting where you rode me
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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