i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
