im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize