Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
