We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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