Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
