I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
