Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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