At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's shark week go big or go home
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
