just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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