i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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