AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
