just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
