I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
