'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
