I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
