I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
