We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
