After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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