having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
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