my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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