I hope mine doesn't look like that
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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