So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
