You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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