Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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