im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I have aggressive nipples.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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