I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
try to milk me bitch
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
