wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
