It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
