did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
