ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize