So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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