Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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