you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
