I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
