He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
