I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
