It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
