I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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