I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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