I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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