he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
