thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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