he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
