How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
wow bdsm is so cute
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize