I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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