She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You brought string cheese to the strip club
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
