with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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