I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
