i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I haven't been this sober since birth.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just had sex on a roof
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
