Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
