I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
do nipples grow back?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize