areolas are like halos for boobs.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize