I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
