I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
