she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
